Coping Strategies

Stress/ Anxiety/ Depression (really any mental health issue) impacts us in three aspects: Cognitive, Mental/ Emotional, and Physiological. With stress or anxiety, once our brain decides that a perceived threat is present, it’ll produce cortisol and adrenaline to sustain our bodies to either fight or fly from the threat. Our blood vessels will constrict themselves to control the amount of oxygen traveling in our body and preserve energy to face the threat … then – BAM – our central nervous system is in control, and we’re riding the wave of emotion and cannot get off the rollercoaster until we are washed to shore. The perceived threat does not have to be a physical threat to activate our biological survival instincts. Any threat can activate the need to “survive.” Instead of standing at the shoreline waiting for the wave we see coming at a distance to consume us, we are challenged to step away from the shoreline by utilizing healthy coping strategies.

Click here for a video about CBT

Please note: these strategies are not meant to take away stress, but rather minimize the severity of the symptoms.

RESIST negative thoughts and ASSIST positive thoughts.

Set personal boundaries. Many times we seek to set boundaries with people around us, but first, we must begin with setting boundaries with ourselves! Consider how you are aggravating your situation either by your 1) thinking process or 2) actions. Make the decision to set and maintain a boundary with yourself. You control your mind, but your mindset controls you.
Be intentional with your thoughts: practice healthy self-talk on a regular basis *before* a negative thought appears. Can’t think of something positive to think about? Reflect on your ultimate goal or focus on your gratitude – make a list if you have to!
Thinking process: Negative thoughts happen automatically – sometimes without a trigger. Pinpoint the negative thought and replace it with a positive thought (based on your goal or gratitude).
Reaffirm boundaries with yourself: Setting a strong boundary looks something like this: expectation + consequence = boundary

Example

Ultimate Goal = I want to improve my interpersonal relationships

Gratitude = People/ experiences that are priceless. More about gratitude below

Boundary

(I will no longer raise my voice when I get upset)

Expectation

(I will walk away from conflict before I escalate)

Consequence

(if I *allow* my emotions to control me, I may lose professional/ personal opportunities)

Live in gratitude.

Make a list of everything that you are grateful for in your life. Notice how many priceless experiences and people are on that list (significant other, parents, siblings, children, friends, etc). You can get another car, but you can’t get another loved one. Live in gratitude recognizing that you have a relationship that is truly priceless and one of a kind. Consider the following:

Why you’re grateful for it and how you can demonstrate love towards it?
Are you investing enough of your resources (time, energy, emotional connection/ mental power, finances, etc) in people and experiences listed? OR are you over investing in areas of your life that are not life giving, but rather life taking? Are you surviving or thriving?
Post your gratitude list - save it on your phone – do something to have access to it when times get tough.

Need help to focus on gratitude? Ask for help during your next session and click here to consider a journal specific for gratitude.

Remember your goal(s)

Much like living in gratitude, if we do not make a purposeful attempt to remember our goals, we’ll easily forget them! This is important in reallocating values to your goals versus placing value on the trigger.

Check your emotional temperature

Biological factors play a role on putting us on edge and unresolved stress from yesterday can impact us today. Make time to HALT and check in with yourself. Do this every morning, at bedtime or both!

H – are you hungry? Yes, grab a snack or have a meal.
A – are you angry? Why? Step away to process your anger and explore the hurt & pain.
L – are you lonely? Do you have sufficient social connection in your professional and personal life? If not, what is the trigger to your loneliness or your fear of loneliness? Is a relationship or family dynamic changing, adjusting to something new or coming to an end? It’s important to note that boredom and loneliness are the top two triggers to negative thinking patterns.
T – are you tired? Has your sleep been inconsistent and/or interrupted? Consider taking a day off or allowing time for rest.

Triple B’s – back up, be quiet and breathe.

Back up: You need to back up to assess the situation. You’re in the trees and have lost sight of the forest. Leave the environment. Go to another room or enter the bathroom. Jump in the shower. If you’re followed throughout the house – leave the house!
Be Quiet: A lot of times, when we feel threatened there is a need to defend ourselves. But there really isn’t. At this point, we likely do not have ears to hear or eyes to see. We must preserve ourselves as best we can. Once the toothpaste is thrusted out of the tube, it cannot go back it – same with words. Is it necessary at this moment to speak up to your boss or significant other? Although you may be right, the message you’ll deliver when emotional will dilute your message.
Breathe - Deep breathing: “box” breathing aka 4x4x4 breathing. Inhale for four seconds, hold for four seconds, and exhale for four seconds. Remember, your body is restricting the oxygen it’s pumping through your body to sustain it for the fight!

Need help with your breathing? Click here for a visual guide

Organize your thinking pattern by using the following model:

Step 1) list all your worries/ concerns/ complicating factors/ triggers

Step 2) sort what’s in your control and what’s not in your control.

Step 3) resolve or take action steps to address aspects in your control.

Step 4) challenge thinking pattern outside of your control (Jump head to “Challenge your anxiety”)

Step 5) Focus on the goal – personal or professional growth opportunities

Challenge your anxiety:

Jump into the rabbit hole! Think of worst-case scenario and ask yourself “what happens next” until you realize that nothing happens next! Eventually the stressor will come to an end, and you’ll adjust to whatever the outcome is – like you’ve always done when you faced stress in the past! This forces us to recognize that our stress is typically not a life and death situation to trigger out anxiety into survival mode.

Take inventory.

Check in with yourself to view a snapshot of today for every aspect of your life such as: work/ career, education, spouse/ significant other, children, hobbies, finances, physical health, misc. Is anything pending or out of sorts? If you can pinpoint an issue, jump back to the model above to help you weed through the issue and create an action plan to resolve. If you notice invisible barriers or self-sabotage come into play, please be prepared to discuss it during your next session.

Did you stop making yourself a priority?

Review everything you listed as healthy self-care. Are you engaging in regular self-care on a daily or weekly basis? If so, time to get back on track. Are invisible barriers getting in the way? Let’s talk about it during your next session.

Are the physical symptoms severe/ overwhelming?

Grounding strategies require stimulation of your 5 senses. When we stimulate our 5 senses, we minimize disassociation. Here's a brief example: What are 5 things you can see? 4 things you can hear? 3 things you can touch? 2 things you can smell? 1 thing you can taste?

Click here for more ideas / Click here to watch video for more information

Exercise is the best remedy when it comes to addressing physiological symptoms, improving sleep, boosting energy and increasing our self-esteem. If you have physical limitations that get in your way of completing a HIIT workout, simply being outside for an outdoor walk has shown improvement in our mental health.

Click here for more evidence / Click here to watch a video for more information

Physiological cues: Practice daily body scanning. Usually, we can see the wave coming towards us at a distance. Our body also is pre-wired to send us cues to move away from the shoreline. Conducting a body scan literally means assessing your body from head to toe. Notice any pain, tension, tingling, pressure, body temperature, etc. Symptoms include, but are not limited to headaches, facial tension, tight muscles & jaw, unable to sit still, rapid heart rate, tightness in chest, etc. The key here is to catch the message at the first or second cue! For example, if you want to control your anger outbursts, notice the alerts your body sends you when you escalate. Does your head race? Do you fist your hands? Listen to your cues because that will tell you when it's time to use Triple B's to maintain your personal boundaries. If you struggle with this, ask to map your anxiety.

Meditation/ deep breathing is helpful in allowing us to disconnect from our stressor via visualization, distraction, recalling healthy core memories - all while engaging with deep breathing that promotes the activation of our parasympathetic system (system that keeps us calm and collected) versus out sympathetic nervous system (survival response to stress). Click here for a 10 minute mindful meditation. Click here for a visual deep breathing aid.

Applications for symptoms management

There are many applications that can assist with meditation, deep breathing, stretching, etc that can be used as a tool that may lead to symptoms relief. Check your medical coverage as some insurances do offer a free or low cost options to members. Click here for an external review of applications that may be available to you.

Click here for more Tips and Strategies to manage symptoms.

Write it down!

Journaling strategies allow give space for our emotions to have a space to land. There are different ways to journal according to our personal purpose for journaling:

1) Talk to text in your mobile device. Thoughts are coming in too fast? Can't seem to bring yourself to write? Talk it out. You can choose to read it again later or delete it once the high of the emotions settle.

2) Bullet journal. Meant for people who find a creative outlet to be therapeutic. It's a great way to customize pages to identify goals and leave pages for self-reflection. It's the most customizable manner of journaling to meet your emotional needs.

3) Guided journaling: Don't know what to write? The 5 Minute Journal is a recommended method to use when we struggle with what to write or how long. It consists of short prompts that can begin to create a flow of emotional disclosure that can make journaling an easier habit to create.

4) Harmony Journal: If you feel that an inclusive planner and journal aligns with what you need, a Harmony Journal may be best for you. There is space for you to organize your day, areas for you to journal and pages to document the graph activity above.